Dinner With Jay-Z or $50,000??

Let’s get this straight, the question is would you rather get a dinner with Jay-Z or $50,000? This is not a tough question even a little. You take the $50,000. $50,000 dollars at one time is a pretty solid amount of money. I am not sure there is anyone I would rather have the dinner than the money so it made this a very easy answer. The biggest argument is that you could ask Jay-Z questions and get answers that in time would equal more than $50,000. Not a fucking chance. If you’re as smart as Jay-Z you are. You wouldn’t need the time with him, you would probably need money to start. If you need Jay-Z to tell you how to make more than $50,000. Simple. I can answer that. GET A FUCKING JOB. Not everyone is just automatically a musical genius because they had a 2-hour conversation with Jay-Z. You SoundCloud rappers need to just chill. One talk with Jay-Z isn’t going to make you have a platinum song. It would be idiotic to not just take $50,000. $50,000 pays an average person bills for a year without ever working a second. Maybe I just don’t value the time with Jay-Z as others would but I don’t think in 2-hours he could teach me how to make over $50,000 dollars. This dinner doesn’t come with a Jay-Z promotion at the end. All you have is his word in the end. You would be a dumbass to not take the $50,000.


@BleacherReport Coming At @barstoolsports. This is going to be a Mistake. ( @stoolpresidente )

This is an absolute mistake. Bleacher Report is actually incompetent, so them not knowing this is a mistake doesn’t actually surprise me. They’re the same company that tweets out hours after the XFL press conference asking if Johnny Football was going to be the first signee. After it was clearly stated that he was not allowed to play in the XFL because of criminal charges. Dave Portnoy is not a man to be messing with under any circumstances. Everyone that has crossed him has gone down. John Skipper, for example, canceled Barstool Van Talk after 1 episode and Skipper is gone. Sam Ponder was part of the reasoning for Barstool Van Talk getting canceled and every show she is apart of is having their worst years since she has been involved. So why the fuck would a company as incompetent as Bleacher Report come at the king. (that kind of answered itself) This is possibly the worse thing a company built 100% off of slideshows could do. Dave Portnoy made a 100 million dollar company that started out selling papers himself. He created an empire that has taken over social media. He is not going to let anyone bad mouth the stool. And Bleacher Report a company who is terrible at social media as it is is going to try and cross Portnoy. I don’t think so. Why would you want to cross a guy that literally says whatever he wants when he wants? Portnoy is going to hold no mercy, he hasn’t yet so why the fuck would he for fucking Pinocchio? Not to mention if you follow barstool you know who their people are. I can’t name a single soul for Bleacher Report and I have followed sports since out of the womb. I didn’t know who Pinocchio was until today. (By the way, not his real name but close enough) You might as well see Bleacher Report hiring someone in place of this fool soon because he just crossed a man in this media world that you probably shouldn’t have. If you know anything about Portnoy you know that he isn’t going to drop this until this guy is fired. I’m under the impression Barstool already wasn’t a huge fan of “Slideshow Report” but I can guarantee they’re not even a little bit of a fan now. Just last week I wrote a blog talking about how Bleacher Report was incompetent fucks and here we are today they’re just proving my point one day at a time. What a world. Down goes Bleacher Report. Viva La Stool

Not Sure About All This…..

IMG_0584Listen I am as proud as the next guy. Congratulations. Sometimes there are limits in this world no matter what this tweet says. A 5-foot female will never dunk a basketball on a ten-foot goal. I will never run a 2-minute mile. I will never be 7 foot 3. I could go all day, the point is there are limitations. I know those limitations are based on actual things that you can’t control. She can’t control that she wasn’t born with arms. Flying a plane can kill a lot of people if there are passengers or not on the plane. I am not saying she can’t fly a plane I’m just saying this isn’t a great idea. Have you ever had a cramp in your leg? You literally can’t move and your whole body is paralyzed. What can she do in this situation? That is the one reason that no one will convince me otherwise. I have had a cramp and I know that my leg wouldn’t work for 5 minutes after that. You just don’t have that time while flying a plane that could hurt a lot of people. I might truly just be overthinking the whole situation but I am going to regardless this just doesn’t seem safe. Some jobs just require all 4 limbs and this sure seems like one to me. I am not writing this to insult this girl one bit because this is a hell of an accomplishment. And I am happy for her. Who the fuck am I to judge.

Also, what kind of weirdo writes out a tweet taking credit for someone else’s accomplishments. What a fucking weird move.

@BleacherReport is Incompetent

IMG_0575Bleacher Report is officially incompetent and someone needs to be fired. How the fuck do you tweet something this stupid? This blows the Cowboys tweet out of the water. This tweet happened at 5.00pm. The announcing of the XFL was at 3.00pm. This tweet doesn’t seem that dumb yet, right? WRONG. Vince McMahon stated during the announcement that no one with a criminal record will be allowed to play in the XFL. Two fucking hours later Bleacher Report tweets this. How the fuck is he going to be the first signee if he isn’t even allowed in the league you incompetent fucks. Everyone knows about Manziels past, you would especially think a sports media company would, not Bleacher Report. Bleacher Report has estimated around 200 million dollars and this is the best they can do for social media. Literally, a company who lived and died off of slideshows for the longest time. Maybe go back to slide shows because the people running your social media are a bunch of incompetent fucks. Why has this not been deleted? Someone give this man some answers. Are you hiring a new guy in charge of the social media? Because any 10 year old in elementary that can read will be able to not make this fucking mistake. Bleacher Report a company that supposedly covers sports literally doesn’t even know what the fuck is going on in the sports world. The biggest sports news to happen all day that Manziel was not allowed to play in the XFL and Bleacher Report isn’t even aware. This is flat out embarrassing. You deserve to have an official apology to every single one of your followers for being incompetent. Maybe close the company. Maybe even just go back to slide shows. It got you this far and these dumbass tweets sure didn’t get you to this point. Your social media people literally took a nap and woke up and thought they dropped a bomb tweet when this isn’t even a fucking option. We could truly do without this stupidity. My vote is for Bleacher Report to just close down, in my opinion, you can’t recover from this stupidity. Earlier this week you take shots at fan favorite JuJu Smith and now you tweet some stupid shit like this. WOW

XFL IS BACK!!! Well Was Suppose To Be…. ( @JManziel2 )

The XFL announced today that they’re coming back in 2020. If I was a betting man (which I am) I am honestly going to say that it doesn’t even happen. Everyone is going to talk about it for the rest of the week and then come 2020 all the talk will die down and it won’t even be mentioned again and then 2020 will be about to end and we will all be saying “Fuck, The XFL never came back”. There is a very simple explanation for this, No Manziel No Views. New tagline I made right there. You can borrow it if you please. Seriously, what the fuck Vince Mcmahon WE WANT MANZIEL!! Why would you say no one with a criminal record is allowed to play? Who did you think was going to want to play in this? Uhhhhh all the NFL players that fuck up their careers by doing stupid shit on the side. Shit happens. I am going to be the first to announce that the XFL lasted 10 minutes. What a world we live in nowadays. Just let Manziel in, IT’S FUCKING COMEBACK$ZN! I have nothing against Kaepernick but if that is the biggest star the XFL can bring us I don’t want to watch that. Just because someone has a criminal record I don’t think the should be banned from a league. Michael Phelps has had a DUI before and still has 23 gold medals. Whats your response to that Mcmahon? Why would you instantly push viewers away from your league because you aren’t even going to let the most electric players play in the supposedly most electric league? At this moment, fuck the XFL no chance it lasts. There is a simple change you can make and I promise millions of more people are instantly more interested.  (It’s let Money Manziel play)

Why are Teams Trying to Help LeBron?

Just because LeBron is finally on a team where they literally won’t be able to compete for a title. DOESN”T mean someone else in the league has to throw them a fucking bone so that they can try and make something work. Why would anyone want any of the other players on this bum ass Cavs team? (minus LeBron, IT and K-Love) Also, I understand DWade is a HOFer but no one wants DWade to be the headline of a trade anymore. So why would someone like the Kings, for instance, send the Cavaliers George Hill, who will help a ton for defense, for players like Channing Frye and Iman Shumpert? George Hill does more for the Kings than Iman Shumpert and Channing Frye will ever do for a team. THEY’RE BOTH BUM ASS PLAYERS. The Kings are trying to make sure they are shitting forever if they make trades like this. The big thing is why the fuck does the rest of the league care about the Cavaliers problems. The Cavaliers are going to struggle in the playoffs because LeBron is the only player on their team that can take over in a playoff series. Also, no one on the team can play defense. Jae Crowder is the most overrated defender of all time so stop with that argument now. So why are people trying to make these trades that just throw the LeBron Cavaliers a bone to help them when it matters. LET THEM FUCKING STRUGGLE. Make the NBA fun again. Why do we want the same finals every year? Can we have an interesting NBA again? If the Cavaliers roster stays as is, they won’t make the finals. Also, certain teams in the bottom of the East depending on who, can beat the Cavaliers in a 7 game series (Pacers, 76ers) because the Cavs literally can’t guard anyone and their roster doesn’t make sense anymore. LeBron is truly losing his mind and he is starting to strongly dislike his own team. If LeBron doesn’t still get along with his team in the playoffs he will sell out. As soon as LeBron is out it’s over. Do you remember when LeBron didn’t play in the 4th quarter for 3 straight years? That will come back if LeBron is not happy with the team he is on. Please, I am begging you other NBA teams, DO NOT THROW LEBRON A BONE. If it doesn’t make your team better now and in the future, don’t make the damn trade. (that last part was for the Kings)


Why the fuck would someone ever put a tide pod in their mouth? This is a question that will never be answered. As a guy that tries to make people laugh at everything I do. This at no point is funny or was funny. When I see someone on the internet eating a tide pod all I can assure you is that that human is a fucking idiot with a terrible sense of humor. As a guy who just looks for funny things to get me through life, anything involving a tide pod has yet to be funny. This doesn’t need to be something labeled as something millennials are doing because being a millennial myself there is not one bit of humor in this dumbass meme. This so far has made 2018 the dumbest fucking year by a long shot. So just to make this clear this definitely is not a millennial thing because one I have never seen anyone do this and all my friends are millennials. And two most people don’t actually find this funny. Whoever started this trend please go and live on top of Mount Everest and don’t ever dare to come down. You have caused a whole generation of people to be judged on something we sure as hell shouldn’t be judged for because it is only a select few dumbasses. Not that I really care about what the older crowd thinks of “millennials” because there are just as many older fucks as there are younger fucks so its one for one there. The main lesson here kids: Don’t eat tide pods, you fucking idiots.

Jason Kidd is Out !

Jason Kidd is out as the Milwaukee Bucks head coach and I honestly don’t know if anyone gives a shit. Jason Kidd has a record of 139-152 as a head coach for the Milwaukee Bucks. Jason Kidd’s entrance into the Bucks organization was a wild ride and the exit is going to be the same way since the most up and coming player in the whole NBA, Giannis Antetokounmpo, is devasted by this move. Did the Bucks just ruin their chances with a future MVP? (if he can stay healthy) Maybe, but we are talking Milwaukee Bucks basketball. It wouldn’t be fair to assume they are ever going to make the right move to help the franchise. Granted the Bucks have been pretty excellent in the draft. But that’s about the only thing they do well. In Jason Kidd’s defense, they are making him play players like Thon Maker, who everyone assumes is going to be good but he averages 5 points a game. He has shown skill but playing a guy big minutes who can only bring it once a week shouldn’t make your standards to be a top 3 team in the East like everyone expects from them. Jason Kidd had a lot of good players who could be great players if everything fell through perfectly but people in the NBA talk like to throw this word “potential” around and “potential” to them means possible first-ballot Hall of Famer immediately. Jason Kidd was probably rightfully fired because they have underachieved terribly. Not to mention his constant mental math errors in games is absolutely insane. 8th seed in the East is a joke in general. Especially since they have top 4 or 5 talent. If Jason Kidd went to the playoffs this year as a top 4 or 5 seed and was fired after the season ended because they lost in the first round of the playoffs, I would then say he was wrongfully fired. You can’t expect a team of young kids to compete with the veterans who have been in the playoffs their whole careers. But you could make a simple argument that he should have been fired also. That didn’t happen so there really shouldn’t be that big of a backlash involving this whole firing. Back to my first point who gives a shit about the Milwaukee Bucks head coach anyways.

Where is Eddie Murphy?

Does anyone know if Eddie Murphy is even alive? I don’t think I have heard Eddie Murphy’s name in the media in seven-plus years. I don’t even know why I thought about him today but I did and I immediately had to question if he was even alive. I am here to inform you but he is still alive, supposedly. I guess he was even in a movie in 2016 called Mr. Chruch. It was one of his few movies that didn’t get nominated for an award so that’s probably the reason I have never even heard of it. His last film before that in 2012, A Thousand Words, he was nominated for the Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actor. I literally just laughed out loud. I’m sitting here wondering what the hell happen to Eddie Murphy’s career and he is being nominated for the worst actor of the year. Well, I think I now understand why I haven’t heard from him because his career is in the toilet. Are we 100% sure that Eddie Murphy is alive? I hate to start conspiracy theories but I might start pushing for the theory that he is actually dead. A bunch of random websites with no credibility says he isn’t dead but I am just thinking it is all a cover-up at this point. Do I actually believe in my own conspiracy theory? Absolutely fucking not. I really wrote this entire blog to let the people know that Eddie Murphy is indeed alive.

PS. -Fun Fact about Eddie Murphy he has had sex which his 9 kids prove. And that’s pretty cool I guess.

The Open House Review

A little movie review for the people. The Open House a Netflix original. Netflix known for their TV shows instead of their movies, and after watching this you’re going to still believe they should just stick to TV shows. The setting of the show and how it plays out early making it a little heartfelt film before they scare the shit out of you. Netflix executed this movie terribly. They completely blew it. They had a chance to make the ending of this movie great and make this considered a good movie but they completely fucked it up. Really every part of this movie is pretty good until you get to the ending. They tied absolutely nothing together, they just left everything on the table and the ending was fucking terrible. There are like 5 different endings they could have chosen and they all make more sense and they are a better ending then what they choose. Whoever put this movie together should be ashamed of the ending of this movie. My official rating for The Open House is a 5.3 out of 10. This could have easily been in the high 7’s but the ending was fucking terrible. 5.3/10